Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber (pronounced Houston Buy-uh-bear) is a child actress pornography star, best known for fucking with modern radio. He is also best known for being the dreamboy for every single girl 12 and under in America right now. Oh, and 7+ in Canada.

Justin Bieber started out in 2009 with his "One Time", making sure he reminded you how shitty his girly voice is. One critic mentioned, as the newspaper headline for a Utah newspaper article,

"You know, I remember saying when I first heard Justin Bieber on the radio: 'Oh my God, that's got to be the hottest fucking chick in the world singing that song. I could jack off to the voice right now.' But then I found out by fucking Wikipedia (I'm not nerdy I just find it....useful?) that Justin Bieber's actually a little six year-old chimpanzee so I went all Owen Wilson on myself and slashed my wrists but it didn't work so I got someone to Chris Brown me but they said I would recover from the beating."

Personal life
Justin Bieber was walking down the road one day playing basketball, terribly, of course, when he got raped by a pixie who stole all his money, went all fucking Robin Hood on his ass, and gave the rich people more money.

Justin never walked alone on a cold night again.

People
Aside from half of the girls in the world wanting to have sex with him in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, his YouTube video "One Time" only has fucking 3 and a half stars, which is hilarious because you know that rappers and singers that have music videos on YouTube always get four and a half stars+, but nope, not him. Ha! Fucking shithead.

Critics
Oh, yeah, and also critics like to remind everybody about how Justin Bieber heavily uses AutoTune and doesn't write his own music. There is even speculation that it's actually a really muscular gayass black man that is rapping the lyrics and they're just making it the raspy, high pitched shit that sounds like Justin Bieber.

Oh and he doesn't actually sing or play the guitar alive. That shit's fake. Fucking face, Goddammit.